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MARRIAGE : THE FIRST YEAR

MARRIAGE : THE FIRST YEAR

OUR FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE HAS BEEN HARD ON BOTH MY HUSBAND AND I. I QUESTION MYSELF A LOT ABOUT HIS OPINIONS OF ME AND I AM ALWAYS QUESTIONING MYSELF WITH THAT : AM I A GOOD ENOUGH WIFE TO HIM ? WE HAVE MANAGE TO SURVIVE ON A VERY SLIM INCOME , WE ARE LEARNING AS WE GO. I BELIEVE THAT BECOMES  A PART OF YOUR MARRIAGE WHEN YOU AGREE TO SAY ” I DO “. 

MY HUSBAND IS THE PRIMARY INCOME IN OUR MARRIAGE AND HAS BEEN SINCE WE MARRIED ON OCTOBER 31, 2012. IN THE AREA WE LIVE IN THE BOTTOM OF KENTUCKY THERE IS HARDLY ANY EMPLOYMENT SO IF YOU FIND A JOB HERE YOU BEST KEEP IT. THAT’S THE ATTITUDE THE POPULATION AROUND HERE HAS TO HAVE.

I AM A STAY AT HOME WIFE, I ENJOY BEING A STAY AT HOME WIFE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT MAKES IT HARDER ON MY HUSBAND, HE SEEMS TO BE CONTENT WITH IT. IT’S KIND OF HARD TO LIVE ON A BUDGET WHEN THERE’S HARDLY MUCH OF A BUDGET TO LIVE ON IN THE FIRST PLACE,  AND NO I AM NOT COMPLAINING I LOVE THE LIFE I  LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND. SO THANKS TO A POST I READ IN ( TRUE STORIES OF A MIDWEST YANKEE blog I WOULD NOT BE BLOGGING THIS SINCE MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED OUR GROCERIES HAVE BEEN BOUGHT WITH SNAP BENEFITS OR WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD GROCERIES.  MY HUSBAND AND I BOTH GREW UP LESS FORTUNATE OR AS WE LIKE TO SAY JUST PLAIN POOR SO WE HAD LEARNED TO ADJUST TO A LOT LONG BEFORE WE WERE EVER MARRIED.

I COME FROM A DIVORCED FAMILY, MY HUSBAND DOES NOT. THAT MAY BE THE REASON I DIDN’T MARRY UNTIL I WAS 48 YEARS OLD BECAUSE I KNEW AND ALWAYS TOLD MYSELF THAT WHEN I DID IT WOULD BE FOREVER. ALL THAT MATTERED TO ME WAS THAT I FOUND THE MAN OF MY DREAMS AND WAS TRULY IN LOVE AND I WANTED TO BE HIS WIFE HE ASK AND I SAID YES, SO WE MARRIED IMMEDIATELY. SO YES YOU CAN SAY WE TOLD OURSELVES WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT AS WE GO.

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE MADE IT A PRACTICE IN OUR HOME TO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING OR AGREE TO DISAGREE. EAT DINNER AT THE TABLE AND PRAY, NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY OR UPSET, ETC. OUR WORDS TO LIVE BY !  THE BEHAVIOR  I DIDN’T SEE ENCOURAGED IN THE HOME I GREW UP IN SOME OF MY LIFE. SEE SOME THINGS I AM GOOD AT KNOWING SOME NOT. I TELL HIM “WE DON’T HAVE ARGUMENTS” WE HAVE DISAGREEMENTS.

IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY AND I’M SURE IT WILL NOT CONTINUE TO BE EASY FINANCIALLY , BUT THE ONE THING I DO KNOW IS THAT MY HUSBAND AND I ARE BOUND AND DETERMINED TO MAKE THIS MARRIAGE WORK BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND THAT IS THE DECISION YOU MAKE WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GET MARRIED IS TO BUILD A PARTNERSHIP TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT THE COST SO YES IT IS A SACRIFICE AT TIMES BUT WELL WORTH IT JUST KNOWING I HAVE SOMEONE IN MY LIFE TO STAND BEHIND ME AND BE HERE FOR ME ALWAYS

SO I MUST SAY THAT MY POINT TO THIS ARTICLE IS THAT NO THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE IS NOT EASY THAT’S THE SACRIFICE WE MAKE IN THE NAME OF LOVE. THERE REALLY IS A LOT THAT COMES WITH IT, WE SURE DID NOT HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT AND WERE LEARNING AS WE GO HAVING A GREAT TIME DOING IT.

LIFE IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE EVERYDAY EVERYWHERE THAT IS WHY I AM SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL THAT IT WAS IN GOD’S PLAN FOR ME TO HAVE A HUSBAND IN MY LIFE THAT LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY (and mine really does ) THAT’S PRICE LESS. I KNOW THAT EVERYDAY WHEN I LOOK AT MY HUSBAND AND HE LOOKS AT ME LEARNING AND KNOWING EACH OTHER DAILY AND YES WE ARE MARRIED FOR OUR LIFETIME HERE ON EARTH AND LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE YEARS TOGETHER !

WE SURVIVED OUR FIRST YEAR, LOOKING FORWARD TO ANOTHER !

 

When we met…..

My parents had just recently separated and we had always lived in Ohio, my father was employed at Genera Motors. We’ll just say that the alcohol ended up getting the best of my father and then my mother later in years after she had tolerated so much of my fathers drinking and those are her words not mine. I love my father dearly.We ended up moving to Coving-ton, Kentucky, my mother had a sister that lived there. My sister and I were taking a walk one night out of boredom as teenagers do or I was believe I was 12, maybe 13. A guy ended up stopping my sister and talking to her that ended up being her boyfriend when the time became right and my husband today ended up being with him so we talked some. We were both so very young then as you can tell so I developed an immediate crush that lasted for years and years as you’ll be able to tell as my story goes on to more. So my husband now even though we were friends ended up marrying another, I was heart broken even though I never let him know that. I saw him for years in passing or I would see him with his brother in passing when he came to visit my sister who was now his girlfriend. Then the visits got to be not so much. He tells me today I was never home when he came to my mothers with his brother. I was usually gone or working, I always maintained employment in my younger years. With my mother being in the bottle a lot of times I wanted to be at work or gone because I always felt like I never knew what I was walking into before opening the door when I arrived home. Let’s just say my mother was a different kind of mother and she was definitely completely self involved with her favorite pass time – her drink ! We were at this time living back in Ohio, my mother and us chose to make a move there so my mother could get out of an abusive relationship. ( I’m sure I will have plenty to tell and write on this subject later as it ended up becoming a part of my life in younger years. I am a firm believer it becomes a pattern in families. More on that later and I will sure have alot to say on this subject,) So basically we both endd up going our separate ways until years later when I at the time was living in Northern Kentucky. I had a nephew that had moved to Whitley city Ky. to go and be with his real father that he had not seen in probably 20 years and my life was I guess we would say in a spiral and going no where so I decided that I would come here and live with my nephew to restart, recharge or re-negotiate my life. It was definitley time for some change and yes I do believe that a geographical change can and, will and has positive changes in it for the better. I’m living proof of that! My husband now just happens to be my or our nephews Uncle. My nephew’s father was my brother in law ( my husbands brother) my nephew’s mother was my sister. And yes if you noticed I said was and I will get to that later also because they are both deceased. Sad but true, we were all devastated! So here in this small town is where I was re-united with my husband. I walked into his work to visit him and he didn’t even know it was me. He ells me the day I walked into his work “look who just walked into my life” and that he knew change for the better was coming”. It was as if both of us fell in love instantly. I have never felt more complete, fulfilled, more comfortable with someone and loved then I did when I knew I was in love with him. For we all know how hard it is to be completely comfortable with that special loving person. That was on September the 13, 2012 and on October 31, 2012 we were married. And yes I know rather quickly yet we both knew we were perfect for each other yet I’m having the best time of my life. I was beginning to think and believe that kind of true love was not in the cards for me. But still God knew for he blessed with the most caring, loving, loyal husband I could have ask for when I was ready and on his time not mine. So this is a short version about how we met so we’ll just say to be continued………….